Let me just kick this off on the right foot. We already know the content is going to be weird and awkward, so let's just go: hi. My name is Shelby, and I have no idea what I'm talking about. Perfect.
In my life, I have had one boyfriend, for 2 months, and we did some pretty serious hand holding. Like, waffle fingers-- not pancake. You know what I'm talking about. Pretty intense stuff. But, other than that, my love life is lived out vicariously through Disney Movies... And quite frankly I'm cool with that.
The purpose of this post is that I've noticed an extreme lack of purpose-driven dating... Or, more than that, purpose-driven actions. What I mean by that, is that as a 20 year old girl, I am viewed as a social pariah for never having kissed a boy. I blame it on the fact that I carried around a lightsaber all throughout high school. Maybe I could have been kissed... Had I taken my Storm Trooper helmet off... But dangit, that takes so much effort! So boom. Virgin lips: Brought to you by Star Wars. Okay, I'm off topic...
Being a 20-year-old-lip-virgin shouldn't be that unfamiliar. Quite frankly, I'm pretty stoked about my lipginity. And it seems pretty possible that I can keep this going until I meet my husband(ha! psych! we all know I'm a nun! jokester...)! But the thing is, why is that so foreign? Why, as baby adults, do we feel the need to kiss someone else to find our worth? In my travels, I have met so many people that whine about the fact that they've only swapped spit with seven other people. Seven? Really, Shelby? Seven? Calm down... No, really... Seven. This is a real life thing. And it just leaves me dumbfounded. These same girls (and fellahs-- I'm not forgetting you!) that whine about the lack of lips on their face are the same ones in church on Sunday praying "Lord, let Your will be done in my relationships." I hope you read that in a sassy southern belle accent... Because I definitely wrote it in one. We've just let this main-stream idea of "practice makes perfect" into our Christian sphere of living, and it has taken away from one of the most beautiful things God has given us: sex. When we just give away our lips willy-nilly, we're giving away Step 1. First base? I dunno. There's a term for it. Well, isn't there supposed to be more after that? Like... Step 2, Step 3, Home run, Touchdown, Goooooal!! But yeah... Isn't that kind of cheating? "Oh Shelby, I'm just warming up!" No. That's weird. Don't do that.
Oddly enough, even as a nun, I thoroughly enjoy Song of Songs. The poetry and imagery of true and pure love there is just top notch. Absolutely beautiful. But what strikes me in this book, more than anything else, is how many times the phrase "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you; Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." is uttered. A total of three times, this young woman who has just married the love of her life takes time to address the Single Pringles around her: "Girrrrl, you should wait! Because, I'm telling you, THIS is better than any practice there is. I mean like... way better." When you go with this whole "warm up" theory... It kind of has a couple holes. Yes, you're warming up, but when are you actually playing the game? I mean, you're getting all limber... but for what? If you are a Christian and you hold true to the teachings of the Bible that you shouldn't actually play the game until you're married... Aren't you just setting yourself up for failure? Now, I'm not athlete... but can't you hurt yourself by making your muscles too loose or something? Is that a real thing? I'd think it would be... Like, you end up hurting yourself more somehow. And I believe that's how it is when we do awaken love before it so desires in our lives. I mean, you can't just keep practicing. You'll get tired! You'll yearn to play the game-- to actually do something with your acquired skills. And that's where the trouble lies, am I right? I'll stop talking about sports now... it helps no one.
We were designed to be in relationship (Genesis 2:18), we were designed to be with one another. But we have perverted that purpose so much. One man was made to be with one woman. That man was meant to lead his wife with love and respect, and she was made to tell him he is wrong with love and respect (I'm sure that's in the Bible somewhere...). Anywho, the point being, we have made God's masterpiece into an object-- a plaything-- for when we're bored and dissatisfied with our own lives. Well, my charge to you is this: stop that. Simple as that. And if you've started, cut it out. If I had more practical advice on that... I would give it. But seeing as how the most successful relationship I've ever had is with my pillowpet (going on 8 months!! I'm thinking Cheesecake Factory for our monthaversary!), I'm not qualified to tell you how to go about such things. But I am qualified to tell you my opinion. ;)
I doubt any of this was life changing or new information to anyone, but it was something the Lord placed on my heart that I decided I needed to share with you... All 2 of you that read this... I hope it made some sort of sense. If not, well... that's unfortunate.
Shelby
Song of Songs 2:7, Song of Songs 3:5, Song of Songs 4:7
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